*Tear*

Casco Sunset, originally uploaded by la_fleur.

The end of an era. Undoubtedly one of my closest friends from the last four years is now gone. I sold my A4 today. Maybe that sounds silly to most, but to anyone who really knows me, is a crucial component of the person I am. I am legitimately upset to see (or rather "hear") it go. My A4 has carried me to every college I considered applying to, it has brought me to concerts, taken me skiing and snowboarding, served as a place for me to sleep, eat, get to know friends, relax, unwind and in general be happy. It was never something that carried a name beyond "my A4" despite the best efforts of a number of females in my life who longed to bequeath it with a name. I have seen most of the Midwest and New England through its windshield, and I have seen myself grow from a confused, mostly anti-social high schooler into a college student on the brink of the real world. I have worked on every part of this car inside and out, and I know every bit of it, from the circular scrapes just behind the front right wheel well to the bizarre dent on the underbody just rear of the center resonator. I know where I have put random zip ties, where I have dropped coins and where things have spilled and been subsequently cleaned up. I know that this is a unique, special car that has capabilities significantly beyond those which many can use. I have drifted this car through corners in the wet and dry, played passing games with others at 120-130 mph, I have rushed to meetings and rushed away from obligations on the wings of this great machine. It is tough to let such an important part of my life go even though I am just now stepping into my newest car, one I have dreamed of owning for years. I remember when I sold my first car, a 1989 Saab 900, and I felt a wave of emotion much like this. It took me years to get over the Sabb. Some day I know the new S4 will be just as much an extension of myself as the A4 was. I bought the A4 car on March 9, 2002 from Foreste's Park Place Motors in Indianapolis, IN with 56,256 miles on the odometer. I sell it with 106,256 miles; exactly 50,000 miles of road have been covered with this car since I got it, and at least 49,000 of those have been with me in the driver's seat. Many more miles will be covered by my new car, but I will always remember the little quirks and nuances of the A4. Anon, good friend.

Jaguar

, originally uploaded by la_fleur.

Let's be honest: who doesn't love fast? No one. I can't really argue with the adverstising of Jaguar, especially given their new XK coupe it seems the pinnacle of gorgeous and fast. It just needs to be offered with a manual gearbox. The XK is easily best Jag design since the Series I XKE in '61. Beyond the XK, I saw a lot that I liked at the 2006 North American Autoshow in Detroit. I love cars, so that is rather easy. Every day I hope that I can find a job in the auto industry next year. But when I pick up the newspaper, and read stories about Ford's "Way Forward" with its 30,000 job cuts focused on the executive level or GM and Delphi's continued debts I am continually pushed toward other industries and maybe even abroad. Autos just aren't the things to work with right now. While it is exciting to think that I have no idea where I will be 12 months from now, it is scary as well. It takes a lot of energy to find a place to live in the real world. Maybe I should take a semester off from school and leave knowing I still have a little more to do, in case I cannot find anything. That is a problem though, since I am done with all my credits and such for graduation.

That said, this semester is undoubtedly going to rock. I am hoping to make it rival my best semester (and best 5 months) ever, which were in Stockholm. Happiness certainly abounded there, and I'm off to a good start for this semester. The key, for me, in a good semester has been less class. Not that I need less intellectual work, but I enjoy pursuing my own interests, which are not always covered adequately in classes. When I can study things that others don't, I gain so much more. I have one independent study so far, and may soon pick up a second in game theory. Prospects look good. To take a step back, I might question my choice of schools, given I find so much pleasure in those times when I can escape the classes at Bowdoin. I soon realize, though, that the point of my schooling hasn't been the classes, though. It is so much more. It has been learning frisbee and telemark, it has been having a radio show and choosing bands to come to campus, it has been doing research with professors and those random conversations one gets into where the topic is something of a nerdy complexity that only a fellow Bowdoin student can comprehend. That has been the point and value of being at school. I am sure this is obvious to many, but it bears mentioning nonetheless. So many people focus on somewhat lesser social perks in college, be it parties, hook-ups, or whatever, but there is much more. I notice when I go home to my Christian Conservative hometown how much I miss Bowdoin's atmosphere. I need to be sure that I am somewhere like this next year. Small, liberal, intellectually driven, but random enough to keep things interesting. I need a place where people appreciate "Old School" as much as Alexander Pope and Tolstoy. Until then, I can just bask in that sort of thing here in the northern reaches of Maine society.

Gobbling

Gobbling, originally uploaded by la_fleur.

Home for Thanksgiving. A wonderful change of pace from school. It's like a breath of fresh air before heading on to the last tough week of school I will have for quite some time. I love the freedoms from obligations I have at home, but running into way too many people from high school, including captain awkward, gets old sometimes. That sort of thing inspires me to stay out east for a while. I spent most of today eating, as is expected, and I curled up with Anna for a bit; her 800 pages are getting a little overbearing. Silly pass/fail classes. Saturday will hopefully bring a test drive of an Audi (or 2) It is great that coming home always means I drive cars for the hell of it. I am far too removed from car people, let alone mechanically inclined people at school. My engineer's heart begs to be let out after 3 months at Bowdoin.

My last 'free' winter is just about to begin, and I have decided that such oppurtunity will guarantee ample times skiing. I want to get in as much as possible before a) my knee goes the route of SeaBass' and b) my life goes the route of the college grad, ie to work.

I'll be back at Bo-bo on monday and then I won't get my head above water until December 19. Joyous of occasions. At least I have my new tangential friend to cheer me up; she has been a wonderful influence on my enjoyment of school and has added the levity to studying that I have needed all semester; quite a turn around.

Paradox

RBH post party, originally uploaded by la_fleur.

I am repeatedly amazed by my classmates at Bowdoin. I can sit amid the bustling chaos of a party, the irrational exuberance (thanks Mr. Greenspan) of the typical college student overflowing, yet find myself digging through compatibilist free will less than 12 hours later in the same room. People here, especially the frisbee team, with whom I have the most first hand experience have the admirable quality of combining the greatest disregard for commonly accepted action with the most disciplined of work habits and remarkable abilities of knowledge. I know no other place where I will find contained in a single email the debauchery of the previous night, the proper form of citation for a translated book, and the correct useage of a hyphen in a sentence. "Dorks with an attitude" one could correctly observe. The idiosyncratic nature of Bowdoin and the Clown are certainly things I have grown to love, and will enjoy for a long time. I'll always know I can look forward to procrastinating by finding the etymology of the mullet and the tunes badgers march to while I study amidst the abandoned entropy of a post party Red Brick, a half full bottle of Jack at my feet and notes on Kant spread to my side.

Closing

Closing, originally uploaded by la_fleur.

Looks like my last Fall Season of school sports has come to an end. Wow. I won't be playing tomorrow; too broken still. The chair will have to sit in RBH until next spring, That is when the real fun starts. For the winter it will just continue to sit in the middle of our common room and trip me every time I get home and the lights are out. Maybe that's an omen; turn the lights on, screw saving energy/the planet. Obviously the intended message.

I'll be brushing up on cooking this weekend, Svenska style. Looks like Svenska Köttbullar, Lingonsylt och potatis. Amelia will be joining. Reunion time! Maybe I will introduce her to the clown, but that will likely be bad- as anything involving new friends and the clown undoubtedly is.

Last night I was introduced as John for the first time in a while; it is strange that the majority of people on this campus know me as Flower. John has that nice understated ring to it. Sort of like Joe, but less ambiguous I hope.

Shooping cart

Shooping cart, originally uploaded by la_fleur.

An abandoned shopping cart sits outside the door to our mudroom at RBH. Its purpose, aside from forgotten weeks ago carrying groceries to our apartment is undoubtedly to some day triumphantly return to Hannaford's with a cargo of empty cans and bottles. As if a trolley could have such aspirations. Regardless, it awaits the veritable fortune of returnables sitting upstairs, which will someday provide the income necessary for some bit of liquid refreshment for the RBH crew. I hope this will be soon; the party this weekend will perhaps get things cleaned a bit.

Today was a good day; despite the load of work I managed begin a wonderful poem at lunch with Helga/Flavia/Horvath (I hope I am spelling that right). The poem involved a dead mail order woman wrapped in brown paper. Suffice to say the idea stemmed from the rather morbid "Poetry Bite" Dining Services decided to place on our table. Ugh; as most college students, I despise those with the authority to provide me with such things, and contend that they have no taste. Certainly were I choosing, everyone else would deem me to have no taste. Such is the life of the indie college student; or any college student for that matter.

Tomorrow, or rather, later today holds the glory of figuring out what a Hamiltonian is, finally, and why I should care, along with some more Anna and perhaps a dash of determinism. My back still hates me for this weekend, and I have a fear that a run may not be forthcoming, however, I will endeavour to do some physical activity.

Sun Strike

Sunstrike, originally uploaded by la_fleur.

It has been raining constantly for what feels like forever. The sun is apparently on strike, it is going on two weeks of almost solid rain and only a few marginally nice days interspersed. The implications of this for SAD affected people are rather negative.

I had a tough choice this week: Jurassic 5 at Bowdoin or Broken Social Scene in Beantown. Choosing BSS was definitely right, and I worked load-in for sound and lights at J5, so I got a taste of both. Too bad I didn't get to meet them; I think this may be the first concert I have worked and not met the performers.

The parents are coming for a week, hopefully we'll have some more hot ultimate for them to watch. I want to have an A-squad out that will show our parents what we can do. Fingers crossed.